Long time, no blog

Well it has been a while! I'm still here and a week past the end date of my last "challenge" with Kerryn. As far as challenges go, it wasn't the greatest in terms of achievement but I did manage to lose a kilo and dropped my measurements by 2-3cm on chest, waist, hips and thighs so it's not all bad. And to look on the bright side I actually maintained my weight under 60kg for the duration - don't think I've done that for 10 years. And considering the state of my life that's not a bad achievement.

So what next? Well I still haven't reached my goal weight I have up on my sidebar (but only half a kilo over yesterday!) and it would be nice to actually do that. I would really like to get my weight under 9 stone which would be the lightest I've been in god knows how long (12 years??). But to be honest, my weight is not really bothering me a great deal at the moment so I don't want to get too hung up on it. What I do want to do is complete the 100 push-ups challenge which every man and his dog in blogland is doing. I am one session away from completing week 3 but I think it will take more than 3 more weeks to finish. I'd also like to work on increasing my running speed. After losing a bit of weight this year I am having much fewer injury issues so have worked up to running continuously for half an hour again. I don't want to push my luck by increasing this time but I would like to increase the distance I manage in that time. 5km would be brilliant! And another thing I want to keep up is the resistance training. I have noticed so many benefits from doing it and the feeling of being strong is amazing.

At the moment I am just recovering from my 3rd cold this year (bloody UK weather!) so not feeling the greatest but I do want to get back on board everything as soon as I can. Since I have been feeling so good about my shape I am paranoid it's all going to go to shit if I have a single second off. Food has not been the greatest but I now can manage to maintain without being a total nazi. Anyway, I think one more day of rest and then back to it tomorrow!

New Week

Well, it's Monday again. Managed to offload those 3.5lbs from my trip to Oxford so that's good news. This week I would actually like to see some progress though. It's been ages since my weight has shifted significantly downwards. I have pretty much been bouncing around between 59 and 60kg for the last 6 weeks. So the first step is to be bouncing around betwen 58 and 59kg. I will aim for 58.5kg for weigh-in next Monday morning. That would be a 700g loss for the week which seems reasonable. The trick will be not having any major blow-outs this week. And I would also like to manage at least 5 workouts for the week (still haven't managed that recently). Off to a good start seeing as I have already done my workout for the day - half an hour of walk/jog intervals outside this morning. Bloody upstairs neighbours woke me up first at 2:30am and then 3:30am. Couldn't get back to sleep after the second time so decided to get up at 5:30am and do my exercise since I can be guaranteed to be tired tonight after the ridiculous hour of waking.

Whoops!

Can't believe it's been a week since my last post. Unfortunately I haven't been as on track as I would've liked. No exercise last weekend and have just returned from 2 days down in Oxford where I gained 3.5lbs! Haven't seen such a high weight in ages and I definitely need to reign it in right now before it gets out of hand. Of course, some of that must just be bloat but still it was not a nice feeling stepping on the scales this morning.

On the plus side, I have at least managed 2 exercise sessions so far this week and will be at the gym tonight. If I can get back to 59kg by Monday I will be happy. Then I really want to push on and crack into the 57's. God knows how long it's been since I was last at that weight but it was a very long time ago, at least 10 years I would guess.

Better

Well, I am feeling much better today. I think I was just extremely anxious about meeting with the in-laws last night. They are the first people from home I have seen since the split and I guess I was just having a freak-out about dealing with other people's reactions and possible judgements. My anxiety escalated throughout the day and I was in a bit of a state by the time I left work. However, I went to the gym, ran 3km and did my upper body workout and what do you know? I felt much calmer afterwards. And as it turned out, I had nothing to worry about anyway. The meeting went fine, good even. It was really nice to catch up with them and everything was exactly the same as it had always been. Such a relief.

Unfortunately, there was wine and indian food involved and so I was up another pound overnight (that's 2 from Tuesday). Not too panicked, I'm sure some of that is just bloat. Although, I am noticing some slight creepage in my weight over the last couple of weeks. We're literally talking about a pound but I know how that can snowball. So anyway, I'm off to the gym again tonight and I really really really want to go for a run outside tomorrow morning before work. Have another leaving do tomorrow night so won't have a chance for anything then. If I can manage that and one weekend workout then I will have exercised 5 times this week which will be a record for the last 2 months.

Honesty

So instead of just slinking away and not reporting on my blog I am trying a novel approach and coming on here and admitting that I didn't do so well yesterday. Not sure what happened but I couldn't face the gym so left work, went and ate KFC and picked up some Thornton's toffee and peppermint creams which I proceeded to stuff into my face back home on the couch.

Not sure what triggered it and to be honest, I'm in a really bad mood today as well and can't even be bothered to try to work it out. Today the weather is appalling - more like winter than the middle of summer. I am totally over it. Also am starting to get a bit nervous about tonight's dinner with the in-laws. I really have no idea what I'm doing at the moment - am thinking so much about when I want to return home but haven't come up with anything yet. I feel a bit adrift at the moment. I am still OK with my decision to end my marriage but now that has opened up so many other questions about my life. When I was over here as part of a couple it felt like our life in Perth was just ready and waiting for us when we got back. Now I just feel like my entire life is on hold over here and I have no idea what's in store for me back home. I won't even have anywhere to live. And the longer I'm here the longer I am not getting closer to owning my own home. Somehow home ownership has taken on a colossal significance in my life since it feels like some sort of security now I am alone.

I am just so confused at the moment. I know I should be happy that I have options but they just seem overwhelming at the moment. I just can't concentrate today and wish I had've stayed in bed (which wasn't really an option anyway since I did that 2 weeks ago).

2 Days in a Row!

It's a miracle! 2 posts in 2 days. Need to keep this going.

So anyway, made it to the gym last night which is the first Monday I've managed that in 3 weeks. Just did 45 minutes of cardio but, considering the extra walking I have to do to get to and from the gym, I think that's OK. Tonight I will be back there again for some more cardio and upper body. Not sure why I have been putting off going to the gym. Now that I'm flying solo it's not like I have anything better to do on most weeknights.

Haven't mentioned my new goal here yet. I am fairly happy with my weight now (58.6kg this morning) and while everything is a lot better than it was at the beginning of the year, there's still room for improvement. I have always struggled with maintenance so maybe eternally trying to lose weight even while I'm OK with my current weight is the way to go. So my new target is to get under 9 stone - which would put me at 57kg. This was my goal weight the first time I joined Weight Watchers, although I could somehow never get under 58kg so if I manage it it will be the lightest I've been since about the age of 21. Ideally I'd like to do it by the end of my current 12 week challenge with Kerryn. This challenge has been a total bust. There has not been a single week when I've managed all my workouts and I'm into week 7 now. I've also gone AWOL from my weekly progress emails to Kerryn because I was sick of saying the same thing over and over again. Oh well, if I manage a decent effort this week I'll email her next Monday.

So that's about it on the diet and exercise front. Am wearing a size 6 skirt at work today - never thought I'd see the day. Sure it is probably the biggest size 6 ever but I don't care - it has a 6 on the label and that's good enough for me.

I'm Still Alive

So I've been neglecting my blog - again. Also neglecting my fitness but, on the plus side, not really neglecting my weight. Have pretty much just been bouncing up and down half a kilo which I guess it what maintenance looks like?

Have been really been struggling with motivation to get to the gym and week before last I didn't even make it once. Managed twice last week but that's not really going to cut it. I think my saving grace has been the fact that I walk everywhere.

Personal life - hmmm, G and I still on good terms. Had the weekend in Edinburgh which was good. We shared a room which gave us an opportunity to have a bit of a chat. Seems like we're on the same page - right decision but still hard to get used to. Weekend after that we had dinner and then the following week dinner and drinks with a couple of other friends (two friends, not a couple). His parents arrived in Scotland last week and he is off this week showing them the sights. I'm having dinner with the 3 of them Wednesday night. Will be the first time I've seen people from home since the split - and they're pretty close to it too. I am sure it will all be fine though - it's not like they're going to say anything to me about it. Just another down side of splitting up I guess - I really liked my in-laws so it is a bit of a shame that I probably won't see them anymore.

Single life is really not all it's cracked up to be. I am having a few issues dealing with men's responses to me being single. Feels like I have become fair game overnight. Can't be many left to come out of the woodwork though so that side should settle down. Meeting someone I am actually attracted to could prove tricky though. Would love to be a Samantha but I do have standards!

Am pretty much used to living alone now and I really quite enjoy it. Spent yesterday pottering around and sorting out all of my clothes now I have a bit more storage space. I have actually spent a fair whack of cash on clothes since the split so my existing system needed an overhaul. Also wanted to move my bigger clothes out of the main wardrobe - there were 5 pairs of jeans that are too big! Didn't turf all the bigger clothes though as I have made that mistake before - don't want to have to walk around naked if I put a bit of weight on and nobody likes buying clothes because they've stacked it on. The good thing about going through everything is I realised how many nice things I do have - and I can't wait to wear them! The weather is the only fly in that ointment as it is shaping up to be another crappy summer over here. God I miss the sun.

So anyway, really want to try to get in a reasonable number of workouts this week. Ideally I'd like it to be 6 but I will be happy with 4 or 5. Dinner on Wednesday is late so I can get something in beforehand. Friday night I have a farewell party to go to with work people - would like to keep it a bit under control and have nothing to feel bad about on Saturday morning (at least when I'm not pissed I can exert a bit more control over what others do too). And I'd like to keep updating here too - only 8 or so more entries until I make 100!